The Flashbacks Aren’t Real
One question we face while providing service at Naomi’s House is “Why is it so hard for a woman to heal after a life of sexual exploitation and trafficking?” When she has all the resources she needs to heal and grow, why would she ever deny them? Does she want a chance to live a new life? Not always.
What is telling about the women we serve is that most of them don’t even consider themselves victims. Sex trafficking is a term many women have not heard. Those who have heard the term think it refers to something different than what they've experienced. When we meet with women in the jail, for example, one of our first objectives is to help unpack the abuse they've suffered…give them language to identify what they have gone through. Women at our Reside Program choose to move into the residential home because of the resources provided (a safe place to live, access to education, a job, health care, etc.), but it’s not usually until they are in our program that they begin to deeply understand what was done to them. This journey can be so devastating that it’s not unusual for a participant to want to unlearn what they’ve discovered.
Dan Allender in The Wounded Heart describes this process perfectly when he writes, “There is a deep reluctance to begin the process of change by admitting that damage has occurred. Why bother when [she] has learned so effectively to cope with the wound?” Great question. What’s amazing about the women we work with is that they have developed incredible coping skills to survive and live in the midst of severe pain. It’s why I say that survivors of sex trafficking are the strongest women you will ever meet. But! Survivors in our programs are brave. The reason Survivors enter the struggle to heal is a desire for more, a taste of what life and love could be if they are freed from the trauma of their abuse. But the journey to get there is not easy. A woman in our program, a mother of two, trafficked by a pimp for years, recently found freedom from her flashbacks. Because of PTSD, she would experience memories of her abuse as if they were happening in real time, over and over again. But a breakthrough finally occurred, and she was able to articulate that she now knows those flashbacks aren’t real. Her brain is literally healing. It has taken incredible perseverance for her to not give up on her growth.
This principle applies to all of us involved in the ministry of reconciliation. The perseverance it takes to walk with Survivors, to provide resources for healing, and to trust the process is weighty. We are continuing to strategize on what it will take to grow. How do we serve more women? What amount of faith do we need to trust that God will provide for the programs we want to launch? Whatever it takes. Like Paul writes in 2 Cor 5:13–12, “if it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God…either way, Christ’s love controls us.”
New programs, more staff, additional buildings…all of it. That also means more women we will serve. Our vision has not wavered: every woman who has suffered from commercial sexual exploitation deserves a new start and we’re doing everything we can to make that happen.
The woman with the breakthrough is about to graduate. I could not be more excited for her and proud of her accomplishments. Here is what she recently said to our staff: "I am learning that my flashbacks are just a memory and that I have already survived the horrible things that have happened to me... [NH] has been a lifesaver and a life changer. It has helped me grow in so many ways that I am so thankful for. I finally feel like I’m capable of doing things for myself and for years I never believed I could.”
Praise God!